omg, its really super hard to let go!
kill me now!
i need to be strong.
i really want him to go.
i really want him to be happy.
i really want to let go.

but he makes it so hard!
like he keeps asking me if im okay and if im really fine with him going.
and i hate lying to him
how can i tell him that im fine when im not
how to be happy when im not
sigh!

someone please tell me what to do.

school was fine today.
okay fine, im not gonna lie.. it was superrrrrrrrrrrr boring. oh my goodness man.
seriously.
im in dip plus class now and its boring.
we're not doing anything and me being anti-social aint talking to anyone. haha.
obviously, if i am socialising, i wont be blogging right? :D

haha, life has been okay. i guess like things have been okay with us.

nothing bad really happened.

ive been trying to control la :D

haha :D yeahhhh. so fb is really boring. nothing much to do. my classmates are talking and talking and talking but im not talking to them. i like just cant connect with themmmm.

okay, thats all :D

ps, i still love you

well, service was good yesterday.
submitting all my problems and thoughts unto God was just great!
i mean like, it feels like a whole load is off my shoulders! :D

completed my dip plus assignment alr! :D
so yay for me!

watching glee is awesome! heehee.
i love puck! :D
well, but now im having problems watching episode 14 and its irritating meeeeeeeeeeeeeee! rahhhhhhhh.





alot of things have been running through my mind.
ive been thinking and feeling alot.
well, yes ive grown to be alot stronger.
i know i have.
but its like, what exactly is happening to us?
are we taking a step forward or backward?
are you helping me to grow spiritually?
why does it hurt so much when i think about us in the future... like whether we would be happy or not?
am i just pressing the feelings that i have when i see things that i dont like or am i just okay with it now?
have i learn to stop caring and feeling pain?
have i just let go already?
why do i not care as much?
how am i suppose to treat you?
what am i suppose to do?
gosh!


anyway, i was kinda upset about yesterday's training.
i didnt even train much.
like i just stood there and spot.
only the last 15 mins then i flew.
and my shoes are too tight. its causing me to not be stable up there.
i seriously need a new pair of shoes.
where can i get it? i need it soon.
i didnt wanna tell anyone how i felt cause i am stronger than what i think i am. i can handle this pain all on my own.
yes i did tell you, but i didnt vent as much as i would, but did you realise that?
i realise that.. you have been whining on your fb, why would you do that?
so that people will pity you and show you their concern??
i mean like... okay.. nvm.. i need to learn to shut up.
cause if i dont, things might just get worse. i think i just need to vent that's all
so if you read this, dont get offended or anything
i just ranting.

okay, that's all ive got to say now. ive gotta go to get ready anyway. bye :D

things ARE fine..

i need to control.
i really do!
omg. im on the verge of giving in!
FML.

more people to thank:
mad, isaac and jolyn

thank you
ashwyn, asaph, cassandra, mitchell, ivan, ashley and edwin. love you all

i so agree with this sentence: " there's no use gripping on too tight on a bird, let it go... and if it flies back - you'll know its yours forever."

wow. im gonna let go now.
goodbye.

do you know how it feels when the one you love is freaking sick and you cant do a thing?
omg.
im like in class now and adrian is having a freaking high fever and i cant go down to accompany him.
why must he fall sick?
why cant i be the one to fall sick instead?
im so worried ):
sigh ):
b, get well soon please!

joining cheer again scares me.
i love the sport but im not good at it.
so how?

will the people at denvers be supportive and helpful? like how gusto has helped train a certain someone?