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natalie ♥

Friday, May 21, 2010 ♥
♥ 11:11 PM

alot of things have been running through my mind.
ive been thinking and feeling alot.
well, yes ive grown to be alot stronger.
i know i have.
but its like, what exactly is happening to us?
are we taking a step forward or backward?
are you helping me to grow spiritually?
why does it hurt so much when i think about us in the future... like whether we would be happy or not?
am i just pressing the feelings that i have when i see things that i dont like or am i just okay with it now?
have i learn to stop caring and feeling pain?
have i just let go already?
why do i not care as much?
how am i suppose to treat you?
what am i suppose to do?
gosh!


anyway, i was kinda upset about yesterday's training.
i didnt even train much.
like i just stood there and spot.
only the last 15 mins then i flew.
and my shoes are too tight. its causing me to not be stable up there.
i seriously need a new pair of shoes.
where can i get it? i need it soon.
i didnt wanna tell anyone how i felt cause i am stronger than what i think i am. i can handle this pain all on my own.
yes i did tell you, but i didnt vent as much as i would, but did you realise that?
i realise that.. you have been whining on your fb, why would you do that?
so that people will pity you and show you their concern??
i mean like... okay.. nvm.. i need to learn to shut up.
cause if i dont, things might just get worse. i think i just need to vent that's all
so if you read this, dont get offended or anything
i just ranting.


okay, that's all ive got to say now. ive gotta go to get ready anyway. bye :D